“It’s a true story.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well, it really happened.”
“No, it didn’t you are just making stuff up again, I am going to tell Grandma.”
“Don’t Steve, please don’t she won’t understand!”
“That you made up another one of those crazy stories about the woods behind the field? Come on, I knew you where lying.”
“I am not lying. She, she, just..”
“She, what? Man, spit it out already!”
“She told me not too go close to woods.”
“Of course not, you’ll just get lost in there. It’s dark, that’s all.”
“That’s not all.”
He laughed, as he turned away from a his little brother and toward the dark, thick rows of ominous trees, the thick shrubs between them, making it impossible to see further then a foot, two, at most.
“I’ll show you, that its only dark.”
“No!”
Stepping further into the thickness, Steve’s eyes widening with surprise, and fear.
“I’ll be damn.”, he whispered, just before cold, and dark hands wrapped themselves around his neck.
Copyright Claudia H. Blanton 2014
Wonderful – disturbing without a doubt but wonderful in the way it drew you in using only a minimal amount of words.
thank you Jenni, glad you enjoyed this little story! Have a wonderful weekend!
Nice build up.
thank, dear!
Ah, you unbelievers. Don’t you know, them woods is ALWAYS full of nasty things at night.
So true! Never trust those darn woods!
Never venture into the dark woods without a flashlight and a weapon. And always defer to the frightened one, just in case. I’m always interested in dialogue-heavy (or only) flash stories as they are so different from what I normally write or read.
thank you David. I absolutely agree with your advice! Better save then sorry!
Heh, niiice. Beware, the lurking presence in the deep, dark wood.
I have a single critique: In the paragraph beginning with “He laughed, as he turned…” use the word ‘than’ for matters of comparison. Save the word ‘then’ for considerations of time.
oh, I missed that, thank you for pointing out the mistake – hugs!
Should have listened!!
indeed!
I rarely write dialogue heavy pieces so it’s interesting to see how you’ve done it!
I decided I needed to practice dialogue a little more, and flash fiction is great way to do so (even if I fall short), thanks for stopping by!